FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS REGARDING THE EUPHORIC SATISFACTION PRINCIPLE OF ELECTRONIC RECORDS WHILE UNDER THE INVOLUNTARY INFLUENCE OF DODGY MEDICATIONS
(4/4/78)
This document was approved by Pharmaceutical Board members, staff, the Toronto Medical Association, hospital administrators, Rehabilitation Services Ontario, rehabilitation personnel, DJ veterans, Triptown, fans of John Peel, and the Utopian Republic of SSRI’s. The content herein does not address additional methods or requirements; instead it merely interprets existing methods and obvious supplies needed.
What is EUPHORIC SATISFACTION PRINCIPLE (ESP)?
ESP is referred to in SECTION 2602 of the TRIPTOWN CODEBOOK as an acute state of well-being, one unencumbered by daily stresses, unusual paranoia, or distractions, that is attained through medicated listening of ELECTRONIC RECORDS.
SECTION 2602-2 states the following:
(1) ESP can manifest mentally, or physically, or both simultaneously in the patient.
(2) Mental symptoms of ESP include: concentrated attacks of introspection [usually caused by heavy doses of ambience], confusion and short-lived epiphanies.
(3) Physical symptoms of ESP include: involuntary limb movements [commonly caused by a striking combination of beats], constant neck spasms, inadvertent staring off, and accidental dancing.
What are ELECTRONIC RECORDS?
ELECTRONIC RECORDS are recorded documents created by composers and musicians for aural consumption. Each record [see: capsule] contains hundreds of synthetic tracks of varied, man-made instruments which, when compiled, result in songs [see: non-medicinal ingredients] that feature rhythm, melody, percussion, programmed beats, live instruments, noise, samples, found-sounds, field-recordings, vocals, and/or unidentified resonance.
What supplies or planning is required to achieve ESP?
SECTION 3117-1 states the following:
(1) ELECTRONIC RECORDS of particular depth and capacity, able to manipulate and transcend the patient’s current malaise. Trial and error.
(2) ESP is best achieved with close companions [see: musical compatibility] or on one’s own.
(3) ESP requires a comfortable environment, including a soft couch, a favourite armchair, or large bed.
(4) ESP can be heightened by unobtrusive visuals, such as a muted television, uncomplicated video-game, or intricate home-illumination setting.
WARNING: No Pharmaceutical Board member, Toronto Medical Association staff, Administration officials, rehabilitation personnel, musicians of ELECTRONIC RECORDS, or Triptown author [see: Blog Profile] can be held liable for recreational ESP, public or private. For addiction and rehabilitation services, see SECTION 12841-23 of the TRIPTOWN CODEBOOK.
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